Reasons Why SEOs SUCK

1. Some SEOs unnaturally alter digg rankings, which cause you to get banned

2. Some SEOs use keyword stuffing to make you rank better but get you banned

3. Some SEOs use cloaking

4. Some SEOs take prepayment and give you no results

5. Some SEOs do spam email marketing

6. Some SEOs guarantee top ten natural rankings but deliver you top 10 paid search results

7. Some SEOs will tell you a nice web 2.o site structure needs to be redesigned with table description

8. Some SEOs scare you by saying many things are wrong with your site so they can charge you more like a car salesman

9. Some SEOs charge you for monthly search engine submissions to top search engines

10. Some SEOs have never done SEO professionally and you are their first real client - be careful

11. Some SEOs take a white hat site and employ techniques they used to get ranked on MSN but ban your site in Google

12. When an SEO only communicates via email

13. When an SEO uses a digg spammer to get your post on the top of digg and digg bans your URL - sneaky black hat seo

14. When an SEO charges 20 grand for meta tag optimization

15. When an SEO firm gets its client sites banned for interlinking/link farming

16. When an SEO requires one grand a month for maintenance while they do NOTHING on your site

17. When you take your SERP ranking problems to two different SEOs and they both tell you different stories on what is wrong

18. When an SEO gets 10,000 inbound links in a month and Google bans you

19 .When an SEO creates a link development campaign and puts you into a link whole you can never recover from so you have to buy a new domain name

20. When an SEO is not familiar with Google filters and gets your site caught in them

21. When you have to sign an SEO contract and on the contract it states “if your rankings disappear or

22. you get banned you cannot sue me”

23. We think we are really hot stuff

24. Some SEOs have only a high school diploma and some college credits but make more then people

25. who have Bachelor degrees

26. Most of us do not have tone bodies

27. We speak our mind and that offends people

28. We all like Stephen Colbert and the Daily Show

29. We like to tell people about new SEO ideas, topics, tricks or techniques but we do not give out our secrets. We only give people the tip of the iceberg and let them figure it out for themselves.

30. We are complete nerds

31. If you piss SEOs off they can bring your site down or Google bowl it

 

 

53 Reasons why SEOs Rock

1. If you need to be found online but do not know how

2. When you get banned we can sometimes unban you from the search engines

3. We can get you quality links

4. We have contacts in the industry to help us get discounts

5. The good SEOs can get you on digg again and again without being banned or unethical

6. The good SEOs will educate you as you go along your optimization

7. The good SEOs won't charge you an arm and a leg for simple modifications

8. We can get you to rank for competitive keyword phrases

9. SEO can make or break a new business

10. SEOs can help your search engine saturation which increases branding, sales, and ranking

11. The good SEOs will not utilize black hat techniques and they will NOT get you banned

12. Maintaining search results is a full time job and someone has to do it

13. The Internet is the major source for retrieving information - you need someone to make you appear in the search results

14. SEOs can help make your site a self reinforced authority site

15. We can diagnose problems in the serps and find ways to fix the problems

16. We know how to read multiple analytics

17. We can improve PPC landing pages to help better PPC campaigns

18. We can improve your sites conversion rate

19. We can control search engine spiders - we are the lord of the spiders

20. We can analyze and optimize the BEST keywords to target

21. We can create sub pages to rank for 2nd tier keywords and 3rd tier and so on

22. We can create and optimize multiple satellite sites to get rankings and sales for the mother site

23. We are ambitious

24. We are attractive

25. We are nerds but the cool kind

26. We are fashionable

27. Many of us are Rockyfied - triumph in the face of overwhelming odds - Rankings for the top tier of competitive keyword phrases

28. We are experts at link bait which can drive return traffic and spike traffic to your site

29. We are experts at conversion methods

30. We can kill a deer with one hand

31. Many SEOs are actually SEM, PPC, SMO and Internet marketers so we where many hats

32. We are involved with SEO on a daily basis so we are up to date and aware of where search used to be where it is now and where its going

33. The good SEOs have the experience and the reputation that you can count on to get the job done

34. We can improve your CTR and lower your PPC budget

35. Good SEOs have quality contracts and excellent customer service

36. We offer consultation for the do it yourselfer

37. We have experience with multiple verticals and expertise with optimizing them

38. Most quality SEOs have a blog with high traffic and quality rep

39. We know what we are doing over the average JOE

40. SEO is too important to leave it up to someone that does not know what they are doing

41. In the hands of incompetency you can ruin your site for life

42. To be successful you need to rank well for your keyword terms - That is our job

43. We can diagnose technical issues missed by the untrained eye

44. Good SEOs are ethical

45. We attend conventions to challenge our thought, increase networking and are dedicated to constantly learning in this ever changing medium

46. Most of us are designers as well as SEOs

47. If you have a product or site and need exposure we are your go to guys

48. We know what an H tag is and why it's important

49. We keep on top of algorithm changes

50. We keep on top of new patents placed by the Search Engines

51. Without us, most popular, worthy sites would NOT be ranked well in the search engines

52. Without us Google, MSN, Yahoo and the other major search engines would not be as popular because their results would not return accurate sites for customer queries.

53. We are trend setters

 

This post is just for fun. Some of these are true and some of them are not. Read more at Rockyfied.