Please forgive me for submitting two posts so close to each other; however, considering the urgency of the situation, I simply couldn't wait.  Marriages may be at stake.

Several months back, one of the members (Nathania Johnson) posted an article entitled “Top Ten Pickup Lines for SEO’s."  It’s quite hysterical, and a flood of Mozzers added some of their very own lines to the mix.  If you haven’t seen it – you must.

Turnabout is fair play, and in consideration of the upcoming business trip of SEOmoz’s very own (and very lovely, I might add), Jane Copland, who will no doubt be a prime target for many of these, shall I say – predators, and out of respect for her husband, I think it only fair that she be equipped with the necessary ammunition to fend off these animals. You may notice that there are actually thirteen in the list.  I’m sorry, I’m a marketer.  I couldn’t stop.

Mozzer men and ladies – by all means, please arm this helpless young lady with contributions of your own.  

• Sweetie, I’m gonna 301 over to the bar.  I’ll be right back.  Promise.
• Nice face.  Wait…don’t tell me – you’re a master baiter.  Am I right?
• Either Shoe me the Money, or go home, little boy.
• What you SEOin’ is what you ain’t Gettin’.
• May I suggest you feed your aggregate load to someone with a little less Adsense?
• Dude, you’re rank.  I’ll tell you what – you go use a little AJAX and SOAP and then come see me.
• Okay.  How ‘bout you take your long tail and little wiki back to your Google sandbox and I’ll get back ta ya.
• Hi Chris.  Have you met my husband?
• I think it’s time for you to Cutts bait.  Digg?
• Oy!  Is that a broken link in your pants or are you just not happy to see me?
• Listen hon, I know you want a piece of my Content Rich Doorway, but you can’t afford the CPC.
• Gawd!  Is that link juice on your pants?!  Looks like this date was over before it started.
• Moz off buggah.

 

Best of luck to you Jane!!!  Hope this helps...