I was searching for "SEO" the other day and, as I usually do, I had a look at who was advertising on the term. To my significant surprise, I saw a firm best known for domains advertising its SEO solutions. Network Solutions now sells SEO and guarantees top 10 results.

They're playing it cute, legally, and guaranteeing their results "in one or more of 12 search engines within 10 months from completion date." These uber popular engines include: "AOL, AlltheWeb, AltaVista, Ask.com (formerly known as AskJeeves), Google, Hotbot, IWon, Looksmart, Lycos, MSN, Netscape, and Yahoo!" When was the last time someone used IWon? And last I'd heard, Netscape was a browser and also had a community.

This sort of thing really ticks me off. First, it annoys me because it contributes to the bad name SEOs get as selling snake-oil. After all, Network Solutions isn't in it to help their clients increase their sales, or even boost clients' brand awareness by sending traffic to clients' sites."This service(s) does not guarantee any sales or traffic to your Web site. Traffic and sales depend upon the demand for your particular product or service[...]"

Traffic and sales depend upon the demand for your particular product or service? You mean, keyword research is a necessary step in the SEO process? Come on, nobody really does that. If you rank it, they will come!

Second, it annoys me because it means people are going to get ripped off. Even if this didn't affect me indirectly by making potential clients more wary, I'd get angry because I'm just that Consumer Reports type of guy. And so I'm pretty proactive and like to take responsibility both to help myself and others. Just the opposite of Network Solutions...

"Traffic and sales depend upon the demand for your particular product or service, the design and layout of your Web site, and many other factors that are beyond the control of Network Solutions."

Get outta here! The design and layout of my site can affect sales? Surely the expert marketers at NS should be able to figure out a good layout so I can increase my conversion rate? I mean, isn't "promotion" about moving product? You know, that whole marketing mix gibberish they teach you in Intro to Marketing?

Leaders demand results. Jerks "guarantee" them and don't deliver.